Last week Hema akka cheated me out of the Tulip visit on some stupid pretext. I felt so bad that I cried :-(. I was so desperate to visit the Tulip gardens this year, because I wanted to take more pics this year, and Hema akka stuck me where it hurts the most. I didn’t realize that someone can hurt this much, till now. A "friend" is one who touches the heart by holding hands when needed, not by breaking it.
This reminded me of her earlier actions in wake of the windstorm in Seattle, her visiting the all day meditation etc. Old hurts rushed back, breaking my heart further.
Last weekend, Vandana invited me when they started for visiting the Tulips, but I could not go as it was already evening, and Mahendar promised to call me when they go.
This weekend, on Friday evening we met at Vandana’s home for celebrating Sukumar’s birthday, Mahendar’s Anniversary and Raghuveer’s Anniversary. It seems they discussed going to Tulips on Saturday when I was not around, and no one informed me. I heard Prathyusha saying they have to wake up early on Saturday, and I asked her what they are planning. She said they might to go to Tulips. I was happy, and I thought they would tell me once they confirm their plans, and tell me the time/venue etc. I had to go home early, around 12Am. On Sat, I woke up early, and called both Mahendar and Prathyusha, to ask them about the plans for Tulip visit. They didn’t pick up the phones, and didn’t return my voicemails. I assumed they must have come back late from the party on Friday and must be sleeping. Later when I called Raghu, he tells me they’r almost at the Tulip gardens. I called Manoj and asked him why I was not told. Then again I called Mahendar, who didn’t pick up his cell. I felt so hurt that I didn’t know what to do. I called Santosh and told him about this. He suggested we go to Tulalip Mall, and I ended up going there and buying some shirts from Guess.
I can’t imagine Mahendar and Prathyusha doing this to me. I have always considered them my best friends, and someone I can really count on, and very trustworthy. For some reason, things seem to have changed. This reminded me of the earlier incidents when they went to see the fall colors last year without inviting me (although they called up everyone else). The time during Sri Latha’s Birthday when I was not told, and then Mahendar calls me only because they forgot to bring something from the store, and he tells me that it’s her birthday, and they’r waiting outside her apt, and since they forgot something, he asked me to start from home, and get them the stuff they forgot.
Although I felt very very hurt, by these actions, I also realize some things. May be Baba wanted me to show the true colors of the people and thereby protect me. May be Baba wanted me to leave all this and turn towards only him. Either way, this is something Baba has planned for me, and it’s for my own good.
Om Sai. Om Namo Sai Devaya Namaha. Om Sadguru Sai Devaya Namaha.
Subbu's Space 